For the birds writing

In Te Maunga we have been trying to write a story about for the birds. We had to pretend that we were one of the birds and I was the first bird to get to the power line.I think I did well on putting talking in the writing. What I could do better I could put more past  tense in my story. Here is my story hope you like it. please comment?

As I was flying I had some of my brothers following me so we had a fight  and we  could not stop. But we heard  strange noise it was a tall as bird it asked: ‘can’’ ‘I’’ ‘play ‘with’ ‘you’’? I Asked.  But they said  No!! Play with someone else you frizzy momp!!!!!!!!! I thought they liked me so I tried to talk to them but they ignored me. After that I tried to think what to do next and I had the right thing I said to myself ‘I’ ‘can’ sneak and scare them so they can laugh at me!!!! But they snapped me creeping  to play with  me. So they grabbed me and tried to kick me off the power line and the birds said ‘Do  it ‘do’ ‘it’ ‘do’!!!! But the big tall bird just laughed and laughed and laughed.  So they took my two feet  off and I hit  my head on the dirty ground. The big bird said: YOU WILL PAY FOR “THAT!!!!!!!” SILLY BABY BIRDS!!!!!!! I was super super angry. I zoomed back to my little box and I felt  angry and sad. My tears came down slow like the clouds.